Archive | October, 2015

Be Mindfully Present in Love

20 Oct

People often think that once we become intimate with another person, it will be peaches ‘n cream, lovey-dovey, last-forever kind of love. We expect that the prince found his princess; they’re going to ride off in the sunset, live a fairytale lifestyle and be happy forever.

But that’s not quite reality. In romantic relationships, intimacy can’t be cooked up all at once; it has to build and grow and there are many actions and habits we can take on a daily basis to demonstrate our tenderness toward the other person.

Take the Other into Consideration

imagesIn partnership, one of the most important things is to take the other person into consideration and pay close attention to detail. Sometimes we believe that we will be happy “if only my partner fulfills my needs…” but in this instance, the act of giving can be just as fulfilling if not more fulfilling than the act of receiving.

Asking questions like, “How will this action affect my partner? If I make this choice, will it affect him or her positively or negatively?” is a great first step to taking the other person into consideration.

Something as simply as making dinner for your loved one can build intimacy and trust between two people. When we bring kindness to anything we’re working on, and especially intimate partnerships, it creates a feeling of closeness, desire and being wanted. It facilitates love.

Complete Communication

Communication is about so much more than words, and body language is vital when it comes to the long-term success of a relationship. Bring mindfulness into your interactions with your partner: how do you feel when you’re speaking to your beloved? Do you make eye contact, or don’t you? Do you talk about how you feel, or do you stick to logistics?

So many of our modern conveniences make quick communication easier, but take away the subtle nuance of our interactions. Simply choosing to pick up the phone when you need to communicate with a loved one – even if it’s just to tell him or her what time you’re meeting for dinner – can make a world of difference.

When you have a phone call with another person, you can physically hear that person’s voice. Unconsciously, you may begin to visualize how that person looked when you last saw them; how they smelled, perhaps how they felt when you touched them.

Now, just by picking up the phone, so many more of your physical senses have become engaged!

Set Aside the Distractions

One of my friends has a wonderful boyfriend. When they’re together, he demands that she not work because he doesn’t want her to do anything but focus her attention completely on him. He does the same for her when they’re together.

At first, this was a challenge for her. She thought, “Well, I have to work! How else can I make money and support myself?”

He pointed out that yes, of course she needed to work, but not when they’ve specifically set aside time to be together. The two of them don’t live together, so when they choose to spend time together, it makes sense that they would focus 100% on the other person to build intimacy and trust.

Now when they spend time together, they choose to prioritize each other. Work gets done during work time, but they both now know that tenderness and intimacy can only blossom when they invest the time and energy into each other.

Take a Moment

Today, take a few minutes to think about how you will honor your partner. Maybe you’ll set aside time to really listen to them and ask about their day, or maybe you’ll look closely at them and notice something that you hadn’t noticed before.

If you’re looking for ways to bring more mindfulness into your romantic relationship, click HERE to access the complimentary Bliss Kit!

Wishing you peace to your mind, wellness to your body and tranquility to your spirit.

Namaste,

Rochel Marie Lawson, RN, AHP, CMS

The Queen of Feeling Fabulous and The Wellness Architect

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5 Practices for Mindfulness at Work

6 Oct

Last week, I talked about the importance of being mindful at work (read more by clicking HERE). Today, I’d like to share 5 practices for creating a balanced work place.

Practice #1: Train Your Mind

Mindfulness doesn’t just “happen” to a person, it must be practiced. You can train your mind to be mindful at work when you’re self-aware and self-regulating what’s going on inside you.

Yes, emotions will come up in the workplace – it’s inevitable (and very human!). However, when you train your mind to recognize an emotional attachment or a negative emotional experience, you’re more likely to handle the outcome gracefully and proactively.

Practice #2: Learn the Art of Accepting Feedback

The art of skillfully soliciting and accepting feedback is a powerful tool in managing our emotions in the workplace. Sometimes workers get really attached to what they’re doing; it starts to feel like a personal attack when someone discredits them or doesn’t agree with them.

In truth, it’s not personal at all! Learning to disconnect an idea from a person’s self-worth is very important. Being able to hear feedback and put it in the appropriate drawer, so to speak, is a powerful way to adjust your course and better succeed at work.

Practice #3: Be a Model of Respect and Trust

Trust is an important aspect of the healthiest workplaces, and respect is vital to successful collaboration. Offering respect and trust to others – especially in the midst of conflict – is the best way to move through conflict and keep things smooth and calm.

When employees operate from a place of respect and trust in the workplace, other people learn that they can come to them with whatever concerns they have and they’ll be heard. This is how successful workplace relationships are built, and how the most successful workers make their way up the ladder.

Practice #4: Show Appreciation 

mindfulness-at-workThere are so many things that we take for granted at work. Seemingly simple things such as having a reliable email system, having someone pick up our mail and get our paychecks accurate and even just having staplers in the supply closet are so important. Often, we don’t notice those things until they’ve gone missing.

Show appreciation to the people the office may take for granted. They make it possible for us to do our jobs in an effective and successful manner so we can earn a living and feed our families! Showing appreciation for even the small things in the office will go a long way to diffuse conflict and create a more wholesome and holistic workplace environment.

Practice #5: Make Friends with Conflict

This practice can be a tough one, but in order to create a balanced workplace, it’s important to allow yourself to make friends with conflict. Every time you do something, no matter what it is, someone may not like it. Often, jealously and insecurity show themselves at work, and the office dynamics can get messy, unruly and problematic.

Such chaos does not require that you go into a panic state. You don’t even need to resist it. Just recognize the chaos, be mindfully present with it, don’t internalize it, and actually welcome it. Sometimes it’s the most conflicted projects that offer the most opportunity to learn our lessons graciously.

As they say, attitude is everything. The more mindful you can be in your working relationships and the more self-aware you are, the more peaceful you will find your work environment.

Are you seeking more bliss in your life? Click HERE to access my complimentary Bliss Kit!

Wishing you peace to your mind, wellness to your body and tranquility to your spirit.

Namaste,

Rochel Marie Lawson, RN, AHP, CMS

The Queen of Feeling Fabulous and The Wellness Architect