People often think that once we become intimate with another person, it will be peaches ‘n cream, lovey-dovey, last-forever kind of love. We expect that the prince found his princess; they’re going to ride off in the sunset, live a fairytale lifestyle and be happy forever.
But that’s not quite reality. In romantic relationships, intimacy can’t be cooked up all at once; it has to build and grow and there are many actions and habits we can take on a daily basis to demonstrate our tenderness toward the other person.
Take the Other into Consideration
In partnership, one of the most important things is to take the other person into consideration and pay close attention to detail. Sometimes we believe that we will be happy “if only my partner fulfills my needs…” but in this instance, the act of giving can be just as fulfilling if not more fulfilling than the act of receiving.
Asking questions like, “How will this action affect my partner? If I make this choice, will it affect him or her positively or negatively?” is a great first step to taking the other person into consideration.
Something as simply as making dinner for your loved one can build intimacy and trust between two people. When we bring kindness to anything we’re working on, and especially intimate partnerships, it creates a feeling of closeness, desire and being wanted. It facilitates love.
Communication is about so much more than words, and body language is vital when it comes to the long-term success of a relationship. Bring mindfulness into your interactions with your partner: how do you feel when you’re speaking to your beloved? Do you make eye contact, or don’t you? Do you talk about how you feel, or do you stick to logistics?
So many of our modern conveniences make quick communication easier, but take away the subtle nuance of our interactions. Simply choosing to pick up the phone when you need to communicate with a loved one – even if it’s just to tell him or her what time you’re meeting for dinner – can make a world of difference.
When you have a phone call with another person, you can physically hear that person’s voice. Unconsciously, you may begin to visualize how that person looked when you last saw them; how they smelled, perhaps how they felt when you touched them.
Now, just by picking up the phone, so many more of your physical senses have become engaged!
Set Aside the Distractions
One of my friends has a wonderful boyfriend. When they’re together, he demands that she not work because he doesn’t want her to do anything but focus her attention completely on him. He does the same for her when they’re together.
At first, this was a challenge for her. She thought, “Well, I have to work! How else can I make money and support myself?”
He pointed out that yes, of course she needed to work, but not when they’ve specifically set aside time to be together. The two of them don’t live together, so when they choose to spend time together, it makes sense that they would focus 100% on the other person to build intimacy and trust.
Now when they spend time together, they choose to prioritize each other. Work gets done during work time, but they both now know that tenderness and intimacy can only blossom when they invest the time and energy into each other.
Take a Moment
Today, take a few minutes to think about how you will honor your partner. Maybe you’ll set aside time to really listen to them and ask about their day, or maybe you’ll look closely at them and notice something that you hadn’t noticed before.
If you’re looking for ways to bring more mindfulness into your romantic relationship, click HERE to access the complimentary Bliss Kit!
Wishing you peace to your mind, wellness to your body and tranquility to your spirit.
Rochel Marie Lawson, RN, AHP, CMS
The Queen of Feeling Fabulous and The Wellness Architect